I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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