they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
