ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is Oprah even human
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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