Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
