yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
