i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
