yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
