So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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