Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
