wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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