I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
