the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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