He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize