Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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