if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
my poor anus
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
