tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
