DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
