Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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