And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
