Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
