Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
