yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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