In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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