I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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