Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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