I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
