One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
