Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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