Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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