He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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