He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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