Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
