I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He better not be in your backpack
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
