So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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