So drunk its hurt
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
