I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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