So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
