I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize