just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.