I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Holy sore nipples Batman
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.