there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.