Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
