Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
