you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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