This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
