my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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