Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
