I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
