There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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