I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
