It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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