well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
either way he was missing a nipple.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
