i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize