Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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