I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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