oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize