it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
