I want to have your abortion
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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