I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
