How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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