I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
