i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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