Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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