nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
