Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize